There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
