Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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