Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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