I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
