Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
