The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
