I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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