hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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