Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
