So drunk its hurt
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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