I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
