I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
