I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
