in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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