then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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