SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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