worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
