You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
