You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
