So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
