saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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