I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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