My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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