so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
