I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
