a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
