She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
