Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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