her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
