I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I pour the whiskey from now on
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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