Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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