My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
