gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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