woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
