Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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