also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
