some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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