9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
