Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
