I'd wear matching sweaters with you
its not stalking. its research.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
