I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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