didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
