i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
