I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
