I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
