I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
even my farts smell like vagina
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
