That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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