Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
