I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Sorry about my life...
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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