Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
